In the mist of Saddness God has brought Tears of Joy and Hope.

As I was writing a letter to our new Agency dates starting popping in my head of why October can be a hard month for my family. 7 yrs ago we lost my daddy on Oct 10th. You would think the pain gets easier, it doesnt. I still miss him just as much as I did when he 1st died. I miss that our children wont be able to experience there PaPa Zutuat that Kolya and Little Man (just because we dont have name yet for him) wont get to meet there granddaddy and my children have lost a grandpal. Then I got to thinking today is the October 17th 4 years to the day that Phillip and I did another thing by faith we got Reversal of a vasectomy. This I will have to be honest has been the hardest 4 years of my life wanting a baby so bad and not understanding why God wasn't giving us another baby or more babies. But today he has given us double blessing he has given us two children that we are very excited about and honored to have as a part of our family. Sometimes he has to withhold a blessing to give you another one 1st. Praise God being barren can be a blessing in deguise when he has more blessings for you 1st. He is faithful and He will never make a promise and break it. I BELIEVE... Thank you Lord for that spot of JOY that I will forever remember on OCT 17 you are the life giver you was the bearer of light today you brought us "Light" and "Direction" into our situation. I am AMAZED BY YOU LORD.