Saturday, September 8, 2012

Please Accept My Apology In Waiting...

What a time to wait? This time of total dependence has brought me to Samson in the Bible in the end of Samson life after all his hair had been shaved off and his eyes plucked out.  Threw difference circumstances but all the same he was at Gods mercy with no way out outside of a miracle. He was at the hands of his enemies unless God did something really Big.  Of course we have no enemies Praise the Lord but we do Need an ACT of God to finish the work He has started. He granted Samson his request and I am confident that he will answer ours as well in HIS timing and His way.  We are WOTL-{Waiting ON the LORD} right now with great EXPECTATION.  I want to apologize to all who has read my blogs or email or letters and has thought I have been harsh or even driven.  I don't  apologize because I am driven about the Orphans, and driven about our sweet little bundle of Joy that is Waiting so far away to be brought home to his forever home but for the way I have come across that has offended people or have upset one way or the other in this past 18 months.  You know who you are.  I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. You have to believe me. 
I want to say I LOVE people and I love you all. I cant even let this Journey come to completion without telling you the truth.
God has had alot of work to do on me in this 18months.  This has been the hardest year and half of my life. I am still not totally dealing with all the changes God has put in my life and my families life and all the friends that have come and gone.  My husband says we cant live in the past.   I am only standing by Gods grace and that I have by Gods grace kept my head above the water even though I really thought I was drowning. Have I did it joyfully?  I must confess I have not been.  For the first  time in my life I have had no one to fix my problem I have had to totally come to My Father in Heaven to fix our problems and answer our needs.   I have realized that somethings you just cant change and you have to forgive and let go let God do the rest.  I have felt like Isaiah when he said, " I am a man with unclean lips." I have seen my humanness and that I truly dont deserve God Love. There is nothing I can do to be righteous before him or good enough.No matter how much I try.  I have been hit with the reality of God and how much I need him in my life and how I need to really know him and if I say I know him I really need to TRUST him.  I was showed that I have not really trusted him.  I said I did but in my heart of hearts I had my doubts or thoughts will he really do some thing this awesome for us.  And Then God brought me to a Chapter in the Bible that has changed my life forever changed. Mark Rutland has a small book called Nevertheless  he brought me to Psalm1O6  God blessed His people even when they made bad choices and couldnt get it right.  Nevertheless he blessed them anyways.  Really Lord?  He knows my heart so he nows I love him and I feel horrible when I make mistakes.  But I know now if Jesus wouldnt have had to die if we was already perfect.  That is why he died so that our sins would be covered with his blood that he shed for us.  I dont understand this but I know its a free gift and I have chose to take it.  My wish is for you where ever you are you dont have understand it all you just have to believe it and confess it with your mouth so that you will be saved and go tell someone and get into a great church that will take on the responsibility of helping you to grow.

God has birthed something in me that is called Commitment we said YES and we didnt say only when it felt good or when things was going good.  We have lost so much  When your committed to something dreams can come true.  We will continue to walk in faith Alone if need be we are not quitting and we are so excited to bring our little man home.  We are the winners in the end.  LOVE the PETITTS

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